Advice from a Dominant

I’ve been writing books since I was five – yes five years old. Of course, my books have changed quite a bit, but I remember doing research in various ways from early on. That’s what professional writers do – they research. And I’ve enjoyed the heck out of it, including learning more about D/s lifestyles. I have one particular male friend I’ll call JP. He’s only been a practicing Dominant for a few years so it’s been wonderful to see his journey.

Advice. I think we all need some on a regular basis. Some of us have mentors in our domination love sayingprofessions or perhaps while we were in school. He or she can give credence to issues or simply tell their story while offering support. Some also engage in helping with discipline, whether for the mind or body. When couples or a man or women alone decide to enter into a D/s (Domination and submission) relationship, my belief is that they certainly should have advice from someone who’s explored even for a brief period of time. For many who long to submit or dominate another, they feel out of place, alone in the world. Well of course, they certainly aren’t.

BDSM and the various aspects are growing in household between couples and singles. This isn’t simply because of the popularity of Fifty Shades. Many long for increased passion, nurturing, and yes, even discipline.

I had lunch with a couple of girlfriends the other day and we were talking openly about the D/s lifestyle. I’ve mentioned in a previous blog that one of my friends surprised me with a text one Sunday evening. She asked if I could find her a particular color of flogger. I choked, re-read the text then laughed. Why? Because not in a million years would I have anticipated she hungered to even try anything remotely kinky. She’s ultra conservative and had never really asked me any questions before.

What’s been confirmed since that sunny evening is that you never know what goes on behind closed doors – and not just in bedrooms. She has a male friend who is submissive and she decided, after many weeks of intense conversations, that she wanted to explore becoming a Domme. This can be a heady task, especially given she has zero clue what she’s getting into. She’s highly intelligent and immediately gravitated toward the realization she needs to learn everything she can before making this decision. She remembered everything I’ve shared in writing and my discussions with John Patrick and asked if she could talk with him.

I was pleased and of course initiated the call. He accepted and a week ago they talked. This wasn’t a secret conversation so both told me what was said from their point of view. As with any situation between a man and woman, the sides can be filtered in a different manner. In talking with JP, he said she was very open and honest about the fact she knew little. He felt she was looking for affirmation that what she was attempting was ‘okay’. He assured her she wasn’t alone and that entering into any phase of the lifestyle is joyous, but certainly daunting.

He went on to tell me he expressed how important it was for her to be patient with herself as well as with her male friend. He could sense there was a very tight connection between them and encouraged her to continue asking questions, as well as reading everything she could get her hands on.

I found out during lunch, my gal pal and her guy aren’t romantically involved. They are friends, but she also mentioned connection is strong. The reason is that he can be himself with her, telling her aspects of his needs as a submissive he feels uncomfortable doing so with many of the women he dates. Let’s face it, the majority of women see men as a strong being, even if they don’t want them to be dominant every day. He has basic fears as we all do of being accepted.

What I found so interesting during our lunch was that JP stressed to her constantly the word ‘communication’. He told her candidly that he and I could talk for hours more openly than he has ever been able to in his life. This is very true. There were no masks. We left ourselves wide open and vulnerable, but in doing so, learned very quickly how much trust we had for each other. And this is all for research – as well as friendship.

She was very impressed with the time he took, his caring attitude and how strongly he felt about the lifestyle in general. For many, including aspects of D/s or BDSM is about spicing up an already existing coupling. In the case of my friend, she has no desire to take the domination to any other level than time spent together – without being a full time couple. The challenge for her is that she’s not certain how far she can take their belt around throatdesires at this point. I understand very much why she’s a bit hesitant. When you dabble in D/s or BDSM, this doesn’t change the fact you have to have complete trust. You must communicate on an entirely different level than you would even as a married couple. I’ll firmly stand behind this.

You can’t delve into methods of control, pain, confinement or discipline without utter open communication and deep conversations. If you do, you’ll be setting yourself up for failure. For JP, I don’t see him as the kind of man or Dom who could enter into just playtime. I know that he would enjoy going to a kink club that was vetted out and even partaking in various play, but in totality, he needs to feel the very intrinsic connection  – even love. I understand this as well and with everything I’ve learned through these conversations with him, as well as other D/s couples, I couldn’t either. That’s just how I’m made – my very soul.

For my girlfriend, she’s not ready for a committed relationship. She was married, never shared a bit of BDSM with another, and this is very new. She’s eager, but cautious. She’s curious and now more intrigued than ever. I have no doubt she’ll continue learning. As we were talking over lunch, she said he became animated when he mentioned the use of implements for discipline. He went over everything from a hand spanking, a paddle, a flogger and his favorite, the belt. I couldn’t help chuckling when he talked about how exciting the use of a belt had been for him.

I remember detailed conversations about this very topic. He advised wisely to go slow, take her time and learn how to use a flogger before wielding.

Again, I’ve said this very thing time and time again. Learn your craft as you would any other. You can hurt the body as well as the spirit if you don’t know what you’re doing. She was absolutely adorable when she admitted how surprised she was the flogger she ordered was being hand made by a craftsman. She thought a flogger was a flogger no matter where you ordered the leather strap from. Her eyes and mind opened wide when I explained how they’re made and why. As you may remember, JP has a special bag – his collection of tools he took his time in selecting and ordering. He took plenty of time learning the craft of using them as well.

I knew in asking JP to talk with her, guide her as she takes baby steps, he would find the right way to encourage as well as caution. From what I could tell as lunch concluded, he’d done just that. Is she going to jump into the lifestyle? Of course not. She’s determined to read and talk to others. I applaud her for her time and consideration as D/s isn’t to be entered into lightly.

I have to say, I’m very proud of JP for his teaching ability as I am with her pointed questions. I’m smiling still and can’t wait to hear more from her as she takes additional steps into such an amazing journey.

Kisses and spanks…

 Piper

Advertisements

Public or Private Spankings?

Or both… Were you spanked as a child? If you were, do you remember when you were out with one or both of your parents either shopping, dining or at a friend’s house and you misbehaved? What did your parents do? After attempting to curtail your ridiculous behavior, did you get that look? You know the one I’m talking about. Perhaps followed by a whisper telling you in no uncertain terms that you were getting a hard spanking whenbend over saying,jpg your returned home?

I remember that from being a child. I’d sit in the back seat of the car on the ride home dreading, worrying, sniveling as quietly as possible. My father was usually the disciplinarian, but never did he spank me in public or even in front of close friends. However, a school friend of mine had a different life. I remember on several occasions where her father would find a hardback chair, yank it into the middle of the group and give her a severe bare assed spanking while everyone watched. He’d even send her to the corner afterwards. In my opinion, traumatizing for a child.

But what about as an adult? Hmmm… I write in several genres from suspense and thriller to BDSM with spanking usually taking at least a small part of the plot. I realized that in several of my pieces, there was some form of public discipline, or what might be considered humiliation. Of course, there are more severe forms of this from stories about real life to fantasy. I’ve thrown a bit of that into more hard core books as well, but for this blog, I’m talking about a good, old fashioned, over the knee kind of spanking.

For a solid percentage of couples involved in the lifestyle – married, engaged or just dating – the man is the head of household. There are rules for the lovely lady to follow and punishment if they aren’t. Rules infractions can include things such as back talking, swearing, making a fool of ones  self in public, as well as more egregious breaches in pre-set regulations. So I have to ask this question – has your significant other spanked you in front of friends or even in a more public environment?

You know what I mean. Let’s say you were at a friend’s barbecue and you and your partner began to argue. Little things at first but moods grew increasingly worse, the quips turned sarcastic, even cascading over into conversations with friends. What would the head of household do in this case? Would he smile, take your arm and lead you to a quiet area, reminding you that you’re both trying to enjoy an afternoon and suggest, in no uncertain terms, that you cool it? Would it be followed by the “look”? Stern, wooden hairbrushforeboding, controlling and one that made you quiver?

What if you refused to follow the command? What if you wanted to have a good time and developed an attitude? What would he do next? I think for many couples, this can be a daunting issue. Do you leave the party, making some excuse? Do you allow the behavior to continue unchecked? These can be difficult questions. I’ve talked to many couples where the husband actually finds a quiet spot, perhaps a bedroom or a family room that is somewhat sequestered and at minimum pulls the wife over his knee, giving her a hand spanking. This is likely to be followed by a promise of more severe punishment when you both returned home. Can you imagine her thoughts?

Did anyone see or hear? Do others at the party know I’m a well spanked woman? Will anyone look at me differently? And the anticipation of later… Whew. What if he took the situation a step further? What if…he didn’t find a secluded spot and simply pulled you over his knee, lifting your skirt and spanking you right in front of all your friends? What if he announced to everyone that you were getting a spanking beforehand? Can you imagine the humiliation? I have heard of couples who use this practice. Effective? Perhaps.

I think for couples who go on vacation or to visit the in-laws, there are methods that can be used to curtail the humiliation while giving needed rounds of discipline. A walk in the woods, cutting a switch and providing a hard spanking is often used. Taking a drive to an empty parking lot or waiting until the in-laws are out of the house are other ideas that couples have resorted to.

One of the favorite stories I’ve written is about a simple Target run on a beautiful Saturday. The argument ensues, the nasty words flying. What is a man to do when he’s caught off guard with no useful implements (other than his hand) to use? Why, he takes the wife into the crowded store, heading down the local beauty aisle to the hairbrushes. Can you imagine standing by his side as he tests out various brushes, smacking them against his hand, checking the weight and the “thudding” measure?

When he’s satisfied with selecting one or even two, both of you go about your shopping trip, but you know what you’re getting the moment you leave the store. The purchases made, he remains quiet as you unload the items then he may drive to a furthest spot in the parking lot and instructs you to remove your panties. He climbs onto the passenger seat, pulls you over his lap and with the door open, provides a solid, hard and lengthy spanking.

You wiggle, you cry, you flail but you’re not getting out of a well deserved punishment. And why should you? You broke the rules. You humiliated him in public. You acted like a misbehaving child. Don’t you deserve to have your naked ass smacked with a thick, wooden brush?

What are your thoughts? Has your significant other spanked you in any kind of public setting? Do you think some form of humiliation can help? And, do you like reading stories that include these kinds of spankings? Inquiring minds want to know. I hope I’ve given you some delicious thoughts. Enjoy your day.

Kisses and spanks…

Piper

Spanking Implements – Part Two

Yes, more about spanking implements. I must admit, the various reactions are priceless. I think everyone who is a spanker or spankee has a favorite piece. They are more comfortable using a belt perhaps or a favorite wooden brush they’ve had with them for years. Then, of course, there is the correct implement for the punishment. And still, convenience plays an important role. Imagine carrying various spanking implements in your carry on as you’re standing at the airport. Um… Can you imagine the faces of the security folks? What is this, Mr. Smith?

Oh, I work with carpets and always carry my favorite carpet beater wherever I go. You never know when you’re going to need one.

Right… I would love to be the next person in line. I’ve talked with many disciplinarians table of spanking implementswho travel with a suitcase especially designed to hold various implements in a just so position. From straps to paddles, quirts to floggers, they might have thirty or so – for the perfect session. I was a speaker at a conference once and of course the seminar? BDSM and the correct implements to use. Now, given I’m an author and was partnered with an actual paid disciplinarian, well, you can imagine the discord. I had a blast watching as they unloaded the very large bag, presenting their prized collection. Do you think I was a little bit out of my element?

But I must admit, the various implements are exciting. In writing my books, I’ve already told you that I try and select something different each time. But… My characters don’t necessarily have a full entourage of spanking devices in their closets. Well, a few do LOL. Let’s take a look at a few other favorites.

THE WOODEN SPOON

We all have at least one in our kitchens. They’re placed along side spatulas, measuring cups and knives, waiting to cook the perfect meal. However, think about the other well intended use. A hard spanking. For me, there’s something very seductive about the concept of receiving a spanking in the kitchen. Perhaps you’re both together one afternoon, making dinner. The wine is poured, the music playing and pasta ready to slide into scalding water. Then an argument ensues and you lose your cool.

wooden spoons“Don’t give me any crap, Mark. I only purchased two dresses,” Mindy snapped and took a gulp of wine, rolling her eyes.

Mark exhaled, the act allowing his anger to release. He thought about the way she’d been acting, the nasty words and over spending that had been going on for two weeks. Enough was enough. Turning off the water, he eyed the wooden spoon on the counter and realized what had to be done. “There are rules that you must follow, ones you’ve agreed to. You’ve broken several of them over the last few weeks and I’ve allowed you to get away with it. No longer, Mindy.”

“What does that mean?”

“That means, it’s time for a spanking.”

“We’re making dinner!” Mindy scoffed.

“Dinner can wait. Take off your panties.” He turned to face her, the spoon in his hand.

“Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head. “Remove your panties and lie down on the kitchen table. We are doing this now!”

After a slight hesitation, Mindy eased her wine glass onto the counter, her face pinched, her breathing heavy. “Fine.”

“Fine?” Mark asked as he lifted a single eyebrow.

“Yes, sir.” Mindy eased her hands under her dress and wiggled. When she slipped out of her thong, she did as required, handing Mark her panties. After giving him a heated look, she slowly walked to the kitchen table.

He kept his eyes on her, the look stern, as she laid down, her legs dangling. “I’m going to give you thirty strikes and if you don’t behave through dinner, the punishment will continue. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” Suddenly her voice was very small, the tone full of regret.

He took long strides to the table, lifting her legs. “Hold them straight for me.” When her legs were in the appropriate position, he rubbed her ass cheeks. “I know you don’t like to receive spankings, but this time, it’s well deserved.”

Crack! Smack!

Well, can you imagine the humiliation, the pain coursing through your ass as he spanks you diaper style on the very kitchen table that you’re going to share a delicious dinner? My guess is that you will reconsider your next purchase.

THE SWITCH

Oh, the switch. Just thinking about it should give you the heebie-jeebies. There is nothing quite as mind bending at least to me. Why? Because it’s so simple yet so cathartic. Switches are found anywhere. Of course there are bushes better served than others. The selection is based on flexibility and the ability to withstand those swings. Dominants or rattan switchesHeads of Household often use them as a deterrent, adding that heightened level of humiliation. Think about the scenario.

You’re at home and your husband or lover has stated in no uncertain terms that you are going to receive a spanking. This time, he’s going to cut the perfect switch from your own yard. He grabs the cutter out of the kitchen drawer and leads you outside, heading for the bank of shrubs that might have been planted with discipline in mind. He directs you to the back of the yard, only fifty yards from your neighbor.  You stand by his side, watching as he touches various stems, your thoughts drifting to the spanking that will come only moments later.

After cutting two or three, he tests them out, swinging, using that perfect snap of his wrist. Every time you hear the whooshing sound, you quiver, trembling because you know that soon the switch will be sliced against your naked ass and legs. You remember the sting, the burning sensations and know that this spanking will remain with you for some time. When he’s satisfied, he takes the time, outside and right there in front of your neighbors who are enjoying a barbecue, to slice portions of bark from the outer edges, revealing the tender green portion inside. After swinging one last time, he leads you back inside, directing you to remove your clothes.

Whoosh!

Are you quivering yet?

THE QUIRT

I have a friend, a very dominating male, who absolutely loves the quirt. He took his time ordering the perfect one after doing hours of research. He had a special case and told me stories about how he uses the implement on his wife. Yes, he reserved the use for times when rules infractions were egregious. I will never forget the first time I held the leather in my hand, rubbing my fingers across the strand. You might remember that the quirt is quirtoften used in horse training, although I doubt in the same use of power or strength of the hard smack.

Whew, I still shiver thinking about the way he swung the implement, snapping his wrist as he demonstrated how he used the quirt. He practiced, learning his craft – as he told me. I can only imagine being naked, perhaps tied to a spanking bench or ‘X’ cross and having this used. The anticipation, the anxiety as he reminds you about why this is being used and just how many strikes you’re going to receive.

An amazing tool in my opinion.

Just a few thoughts this morning. There are dozens of types of spoons, paddles, straps and the picture above shows you how a collection can be built. So the questions. How many implements do you have in your house? Are there specific ones used for different levels of infractions? Who finds the implements and where do you go to look for them? There are plenty of sites on the Internet, but I’ve heard many couples say they prefer to look in unusual places, like flea markets and yard sales. Oh, the delicious thoughts I have this morning.

Kisses and spanks…

Piper

Do All Women Need a Hard Spanking?

Yes, I asked the question on this lovely Saturday. Why? Because the phenomenon still fascinates the heck out of me. And I’d love for my readers to weigh in. Yes, I’ve written dozens of spanking stories/books over the past few years. Even my beloved Missoula Smokejumpers series has a special club the jumpers belong to called Burnout. They get together and discuss their love of dominating women, including domestic discipline – i.e. spankings. And you can bet there are several sizzling and often passionate spanking scenes throughout.

My lovely editor, the ultra talented Sandra Havro from Blushing Books, has said more OTK sayingthan once – I think you need to add another spanking scene. Really? Isn’t the danger, suspense, love, fun and basic story enough? Evidently not given the desires of so many readers. So, the added question is – do we as readers simply enjoy reading about women being taken over the knee or pushed across a fluffy set of pillows, OR, do we believe that men (in the case of my books) should be in charge – Head of Household? I know, you’re not quite certain if you can respond truthfully. Right?

Let’s talk about domestic discipline. The man is in charge of the house and home. He (usually along with some comments and suggestions from his loved one) creates a set of rules. These requirements can be everything from keeping the house clean, what amount of money can be spent, what social media is allowed to the basics of keeping healthy. Every household is different. Once these rules are agreed to, they are expected to be followed. To. The. Letter. What happens if these rules are broken?

Often – a hard spanking. Now, imagine coming home and your husband tells you in no uncertain terms that you’re going to receive a spanking because you forgot to pay a bill or he noticed the purchase at Victoria’s Secret. He’s loving but firm and has you either The belt sayingremove your clothes or lower your panties. He might pull the hardback kitchen chair out from the table and tug you across his lap.

Crack!

His hand stings, burning almost instantly.

Smack! Crack!

You squirm, wiggle given the pain and your arm flails back. He firmly wraps his fingers around your wrist, reminding you that if you don’t stay in position, he’ll start the process, the spanking all over again.

Pop! Slap!

What if the infraction was even worse? Perhaps you received a speeding ticket or made a fool of yourself at his company Christmas party. Hmmmm… This calls for a harsher punishment.

The belt…

He gives you that look at the party. That’s all you need and you know you’re in serious trouble. All the way home in the dark in the car, you’re anticipating your punishment, wringing your hands while you try to calm your nerves. He says nothing as he calms down, placing his thoughts in the right mindset. Once inside, he calmly tells you to take off all your clothes and stand in the corner while he prepares. Imagine your visions, your heart racing, your blood pumping as your obey, standing with your nose pressed against the corner, trying not to cry. You’re trying to figure out if he will use the belt, the one he wears every day or will he choose the dreaded paddle or wooden brush.

When the time comes, he takes both of your hands and says in no uncertain terms that you disrespected him, embarrassed him in front of his colleagues. He explains that the behavior will not be tolerated and asks if you understand why you’re going to receive a spanking. After an apology, you can’t deny your wretched actions. And so… He takes you to your bedroom, the place of comfort and passion, and places you over two pillows, your naked ass in the air. And it begins.

Crack!

The belt hits you across your sit spot and you yelp, unable to hold back the cry.

Smack! Crack!

The pain is intense and you jerk up. He rubs his hand on the small of your back, waiting for a few seconds.

Pop! Slap!

The sting brings tears to your eyes and you bury your face into the pillows.

Whack! Crack!

Another series of hard smacks hits both ass cheeks and your upper thighs. Every strike is controlled but necessary. He continues, giving you several more.

Slap! Pop!

When it’s over, he gathers you into his arms, cradling you in his lap as he allows you to cry, to weep and absolve you of your sins.

Has this happened to you before and if so, do you feel better after promising never to embarrass him again? I think about the type of spankings, the method and implement used and the severity of the punishment itself. There are controlled and practiced methods and anyone who enters into this lifestyle MUST learn to be careful, never disciplining in anger. There are various implements that can be used. The over the knee with a hand is so intimate and used on the spur of the moment. The brush, especially spanking implementwooden is a hard snap, a burning that is centered in a single spot. The paddle provides a thudding sound and is certainly harsh, but very effective. There’s the cane, the flogger, the carpet beater, the switch.

Think about being told to select the perfect switch from in your very yard. Imagine your thoughts as you go out into the garden, selecting the vine. Perhaps he tests various switches right there, in front of your neighbors. Often the bark is cut away, revealing the fresh green inside. Oh, the burn a switch can provide on the ass or legs. Whew.

There are so many other types of implements and various ways in which to inflict. There are couples where a brush or strap is kept in the glove compartment, in case a spanking is needed outside the home. Would your man spank you in the back parking lot of Target? You start arguing over nothing in particular and the nasty words coming out of your mouth are biting, caustic. That same look is given with simple words that you’re getting a spanking when you leave the store.

He drives to the back of the parking lot, away from the majority of customers, pulls out the brush hidden in the glove compartment, yanks you over his lap and gives you a hard spanking. Right there. Yes, someone could walk by. Yes, they might watch. Yes, you’re humiliated but my guess is that you’ll think twice about arguing in the middle of a store ever again.

Crack!

I’ve given you several scenarios so now the questions. Do you believe women deserve a hard spanking every once in awhile? Do you believe that domestic discipline relationships are an excellent method of keeping peace in the home? Do you think couples who practice are closer, even more passionate? Would you consider entering into this kind of lifestyle or do you simply enjoy reading about the scenario?

Inquiring minds want to know. I find it fascinating just how many books are sold and while Blushing Books is known for offering spanking titles, they certainly sell basic romance, suspense and even thrillers. Are we simply hungry as a society for the darker side of relationships?

Let me know and I hope you’ve enjoyed.

Kisses and spanks…

Piper

Domestic Discipline – My Thoughts

I have a wonderful compilation of stories coming out in two volumes in the next couple of months called Honor and Obey from Blushing Books. They are all about couples who’ve had difficult relationships and are heading for divorce or an end to their romance. They’ve tried every traditional method of repair from counselors to talking, being more romantic and sharing fears and worries with friends and family. Nothing works. Through various methods, they each happened upon the concept of biting her lipdomestic discipline. First of all, what does this mean?

Domestic discipline is a lifestyle where the man (yes, this can be a same sex couple but in my stories, they are all men and women) is the Head of Household. The man rules so to speak and the woman obeys, given rules to follow and parameters. When they disobey, they are disciplined or punished. This can mean a removal of privileges, washing the woman’s mouth out with soap and yes, spankings. Before you gasp, there are many documents written that this is based in some form of Christianity. Now, I’m not a practicing Christian, although I do believe there must be a higher deity, but I find it quite interesting that many very religious people scoff that this couldn’t be Christian in any manner. Well, why not?

From as long ago in recorded documents, you see that the man was in charge of the household. Only in recent history – we’re talking in the past hundred years – has the woman been given more equality. Today, at least in modern societies such as the United States, Canada and other western style countries, the woman has full equality. They make their own decisions and often there is a push pull in relationships as to who is the actual leader in the relationship. I think we all know that having two leaders can be difficult whether in times of war or peace, in a corporation or in a family setting. You can’t deny this.

So, what happens with two very strong heads butt together? Well, there is going to be some kind of war. We see this every day. Do you honestly think this is any different in marriages or living together situations? Uh, no. Think about your own relationship. Do you have times where you’re trying to make a decision and you are both polar opposites? Whether this is about purchasing a car or what location to take a vacation, we all have opinions and I don’t know about you, but I have no problem whatsoever expressing mine. You bet I’m bold and often aggressive. Forget the assertive part. When I want you to know something, you bet you’re going to hear. Does that bode well for harmony in the household? Not usually. We all try and get along, give and take. Right? How is it working for you?

Have any of you been close enough to divorce that you’ve questioned the very reason you got together with your significant other in the first place? You can’t lie. For the majority of us, this has happened at least once. What if you could take away a significant portion of the strife? What if there is one leader and ultimately what he says goes? I know. This takes some thought process, doesn’t it? In a time where divorce rates remain very high, the notion at least should be given some thought. That’s why I’ve written many stories and books about domestic discipline. I’ve also talked to many couples who live this lifestyle, even spent time on forums and in discussion rooms talking to men and women. They’ve been very frank and honest about their personal difficulties. And yes, you bet their candid representation has given me more than one question in my mind. Could this work?

First of all, not to be taken lightly by any means. There must be many discussions, a lot of personal reflection time and total honesty – not something everyone can do. Oh, and so you know, this lifestyle does not necessarily mean aspects of BDSM – which so many think it does. Can there be elements? Yes, including various sexual concepts, but for the most part, men and women living this are similar to you and I in almost every regard – except – she follows his rules. And there’s something else that’s tremendous in what I’ve learned. Couples who practice are much closer. They are honest to a fault, the love is amazing and yes, their belt in his handspassion increases.

Imagine a scenario. The wife is given a spending allowance and overspends by a couple hundred dollars, making paying the mortgage difficult that month. She knows better. She’s right there in understanding their needs, but decides the dress and shoes for herself or the kids is much more important. This is a very basic example but go with it. Should she be punished?

Hmmm… In domestic discipline, the husband will sit down and talk with her about her reasons why. Hopefully she’ll explain that she’s been down lately and needed a pick me up. They’ll come to an agreement about what to do next time, then he’ll establish her punishment. Perhaps he’ll issue a severe spanking followed by corner time. Then the issue will go away, no need to discuss further. She’s absolved and hopefully has learned that this kind of behavior isn’t in her best interest. Sound too simplistic?

I was talking with a friend the other day about these kinds of books and she totally disagrees that this is based in Christianity, although she flat out stated that the Bible teaches that men should be in charge and the woman should obey. O-kay. Don’t you think there are consequences in every aspect of what we do in our lives? If you break the rules and speed, a cop stops you. What do you think happens? Have a nice day and don’t do that again. No. You receive a ticket and pay for your sins. Why should there be any difference in a relationship? Again, this is pretty simplistic, but I think you get the point.

We are all different in what we want, need, require in our relationships and quite frankly, the total honesty shared goes out the window at some point. I don’t know a single couple that’s really happy. They’ll lie and have that huge smile on their faces when you come over, but what goes on behind closed doors is often ugly, even disgusting. There’s little or no respect left. Then why bother? Get that divorce. Move on your merry way and sink into another relationship. Repeat. You can argue and be unhappy or change. What if you could have enough courage to try something off the chain?

I don’t know. I’m so mouthy I think I’d be in trouble all the time, but if I knew there were consequences regarding my decisions, I might change my behavior after some time. I could also see that talking very frankly could lead to a closer relationship. How could it not? Passion is another thing. When you are so open with another, you are naturally drawn to that person. I can only imagine what this would do for a sexual relationship.

While these are just my thoughts, I try and bring the joy, the sorrow and the fear into my books, to try and honor those who’ve taken that huge step. They are just like you and me with worry about money, the kids, health issues, family disagreements and what’s for dinner tonight. They simply took a leap of faith.

Something to think about on this beautiful day…

Kisses…

Piper