I think the weekend blog truly showed how much the topic of spankings in a household is on the minds of readers and authors alike. There are thousands of spanking books, hundreds of blogs/tumblrs devoted to the subject, so obviously this is a phenomenon that’s here to stay. AND it’s a lifestyle that is practiced more than some might think. Domestic Discipline lifestyles can work, saving a relationship or keeping an even keel in the household. But every couple is different and the experience is special to them, rules carefully selected for their needs.
I was writing a scene yesterday from my other pseudo – Dakota Black from the last Texas Oil book. My heroine was angry, enraged by something happening on her ranch and in order to maintain a calm demeanor while dealing with a difficult situation, she went to a man who provided her with regular relief. While they’d been lovers of sorts, their true relationship involved the fact he was her disciplinarian. She was given a sense of relief and re-centering. So, given certain comments regarding the recent spanking blog, I developed additional questions. Writers are always trying to find sexier or different methods to write a love scene or in certain cases, spanking. The how, when, with what, and how often has to be determined as well as believable.
Authors are also enjoy finding sexy pictures. Whether we enjoy providing sizzling images of men who fit our alpha characters to spanking scenes that can be shown on basic social media, we often search the internet. You have to remember, authors are responsible for the majority of their marketing. I came on this little jpg and had to smile. Then, my wicked mind took over. I once wrote a piece called Spankdown and it had everything to do with a little game. While the piece was so much fun to write, spankings and the lifestyle isn’t something to take frivolously.
Maintenance discipline – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made certain my heroine is told in no uncertain terms that she’s going to receive a spanking often, if not every day, in order to provide stability, create a difference in the relationship. Now, we’re not talking thirty minutes of hard belting. Sometimes a maintenance spanking means no more than being taken over his knee the first thing in the morning or right before bed and given twenty or so smacks on the bottom. That can truly help a woman understand her place and provide a sense of protection, love and adoration.
Readers chomp at the bit for reading more than one spanking scene in a book. They want to know the hero has full control and doesn’t mind spanking his lady when necessary. That might create all kinds of swirling thoughts. Can she tolerate a spanking every day or every other day? What kinds of implements are used? Does the Dominant need any special training in order to do this? Should he spank in anger?
My answers – and I’m no expert so don’t quote me here. Anger – NEVER should a punishment of any kind be given in anger. The Dominant or Head of Household needs to be in full control before providing any type of discipline. He (or she) needs to be calm in order to provide what is necessary while tempering and controlling his actions.
Training – there are methods that work better, whether the HOH is using his hand, a belt, a paddle or a switch. Serious harm can be done to the spankee. You can’t whip along the small of the back – kidneys. That’s a single example. So, yes, I believe that every Dominant needs to learn and understand how an implement should be used before ever trying it.
Can a woman handle a spanking every day? Yes, but again, it’s all about the severity. Practiced and trained HOH’s know when enough is enough. They realize there can be bruising, welts and I’ve seen pictures of blood being drawn. REALLY? This isn’t about harming the love of your life. Spankings are another tool, not a threat for bodily injury. I can’t emphasize that enough.
From the couples involved in domestic discipline, maintenance spankings are used to keep the lines between the couple and honestly, to draw them closer together. The centering effect for a woman can be important, even vital or simply another aspect of their loving relationship. LOVE, TRUST, and RESPECT are very important to any relationship, including and maybe especially if domestic discipline is included.
Punishment spankings are something else. That’s for another blog.
What about using a disciplinarian? Yes, there are services or single individuals who provide this for people who don’t have a significant other. You’re not going to go into a bar and go, hey dude, want to spank me tonight? Uh, NO! Like every other kind of service, and often one found on the internet, you have to check them out. There are no licenses for this kind of thing, but word of mouth, recommendations, experience etc. All apply here if you’re inclined to find such a person.
What about a close friend? Would you have a conversation with him regarding your needs, discussing your anger issues or another bad behavior that you want to control? Would you actually alter that relationship so that every once in a while you go to him for a spanking?
You make a phone call to your friend or the service hired (after a thorough check) and make an appointment. You go to his house or office and undress or wait. He listens to why you need a spanking then perhaps provides advice, a soothing conversation but one full of a controlling attitude. Then he tells you to lean over the back of the couch or over his lap.
He gives you a hard spanking, already pre-determined then you go on your merry way. Perhaps in the case of a friend, you plan dinner with friends for the upcoming Friday. Hmmm… I don’t know. My personal thought is that spankings, no matter for passion or discipline, are very intimate. I don’t think I could allow a stranger to provide discipline no matter how much I crave.
What are your thoughts? If you’re single, do you have a special person on your life that you would trust enough to provide this type of service? Then again, are you ready to talk to your significant other about your desire to make changes in your relationship? I think these are tough questions for the majority and should be thought about and considered for a period of time.
Let me know what you think. I love your comments.
Kisses and spanks on a rainy day…